A New Day
by SkittlezLvr79
Summary: Post S8: Jackie's downward spiral becomes complete. Will Hyde be able to help her through it? Or will he have to accept the fact that sometimes, you can't save the one you still love?
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **Post S8: Jackie's downward spiral becomes complete. Will Hyde be able to help her through it? Or will he have to accept the fact that sometimes, you can't save the one you still love?

**Warning: **Language, Drug use

**Disclaimer: **I don't own That 70's show. If I did, well the travesty of S8 wouldn't have happened. The blame and the show/characters belongs to Fox, et all…

* * *

**December 31st 1980, 11:15 pm**

_Forman's basement_

Hyde slumped in his chair, a beer clutched tightly in his hand. From the floor above, he could hear the sounds of the party; laughter, music, cheerful voices ringing out. He fled from it an hour ago, retreating to the darkened basement to escape a celebration he no longer felt the desire to take part in. The coming year would be no better than the previous one, which completely sucked. There was no point in pretending it would be and subjecting himself to the revelry would only make him sick to his stomach.

He brought the beer to his mouth and took a long drink from it. His lips twisted in a grimace as the warm liquid slid down his throat. As much as he hated warm beer, he was resigned to drinking it. The usual stash he kept in the basement was gone, having been consumed the previous night. And the only other beer in the house was upstairs with the holiday madness he worked so hard to escape.

Plus once he reappeared, it would take him at least another two hours to escape. Mrs. Forman would force him to rejoin the party, protesting that he was far too young to brood so much. Until the need for a fresh bottle of wine or more food pulled her attention away, he'd be trapped. If he were drinking something harder then he'd be willing to take the risk but not when it came to beer. He propped his feet up on the edge of the table and took another mouthful of the warm, unsatisfying liquid, trying to enjoy the solitude.

It wasn't meant to be. The sound of footsteps on the basement stairs informed him that he was about to have company. A scowl of discontent twisted his lips but he didn't look over his shoulder to see who it was that was invading his sanctuary. It was probably just Forman coming to check on him. Or more than likely, Fez sneaking away from the festivities to take care of his needs since his relationship with Jackie had gone down in flames after only a month and he hadn't found a replacement victim yet.

Whoever it was had stopped and he could feel eyes boring into him. It was dark and the person who intruded was probably trying to figure out who it was but it was annoying as hell stared at. He rolled his own eyes, biting back the urge to turn around and glare at the person. Not that it have the desired effect in the dimly lit room. The scrutiny was pissing him off but he made sure that his customary Zen mask was firmly in place, in case they moved from the spot they appeared to be rooted to.

"I didn't think anyone would be down here." The words ran together slightly, slurred by the effects of alcohol.

Inwardly, he groaned at the voice because it belonged to the one person he didn't want to see right then. _Her_. But then again, he should have expected it. It seemed like anytime he didn't want something to happen, it did. Hell, beside death and the government monitoring everyone's activities, it was the only other certainty in his life.

He growled low in his throat, inaudible to her, his earlier anger returning to the surface. In his mind, he could see her dramatic entrance to the party, showing up fashionably late as she always did, but she hadn't been alone. Randy had been with her. While it was one thing to know that Donna had been trying to set his former girlfriend up with her ex-fling for the last month, it was entirely different to see it.

The jealously and rage had consumed him at the sight of them together, her smiling that damn smile at someone else. The same smile she used to bestow upon him. Only this guy was stupid enough to believe the sentiment behind it was real. Not see the pure evil lurking beneath the brilliant depths. A guy who looked at her in a way that was eerily reminiscent of Kelso when they first started dating. Dopey, blinded by the pretty face and tight little body and unaware of the fact that she was as poisonous as any snake.

"I'll just go." Jackie's voice wavered the slightest, interrupting his angry thoughts, as if the idea of going back upstairs was no more appealing than staying down there.

"Whatever." He tried to maintain his Zen but the word had come out acidly, the venom plain to hear.

"I, uh…" Her attempt at a sentence trailed off with a helpless sigh.

His reply was a non-committal grunt. Shaking his head, he tried to clear his thoughts. It wasn't like he cared what she did. Not anymore. That bridge had long since been burned and could never be reconstructed. Best thing that ever could've happened.

"No, you know what," Her shrill, slurred voice rose with anger. "I'm not going anywhere. So screw you!"

"Whatever." He repeated and forced himself not to grunt when she brushed past him, her thigh banging into his shoulder as she clumsily made her way to the couch.

She dropped down on the worn couch with her back turned toward him, her usual easy grace gone, and a glass bottle clasped in her hand. He'd gotten a glimpse of the expression on her face and it was dark, very un-Jackie like. The rest of her appearance was typical, a pathetic attempt to be the center attention like always. Dressed to the hilt in a sexy, short, low cut halter dress and a pair of heels that matched it. Her hair was down, flowing freely in waves against her bareback. Even though he'd rather be tortured by the CIA than admit it to anyone, she looked beautiful.

Mentally he reprimanded himself. He had to stay focused and remember what she really was. Devious. Haughty. Cruel. Vile. Nothing but a lying, self-centered bitch who lived for tearing apart someone's life.

_The devil in a designer dress and heels. _

It was rare that she didn't start to talk as she soon as she sat down but he was thankful not to be subjected to her whining or scathing commentary on why he sucked. From the corner of his eyes, he watched as she unscrewed the cap and brought it to her lips, taking a long swallow of the clear liquid. Normally, she'd make a bitchy, backhanded comment about poor people being the only ones who drank directly from the bottle. Though tonight, it seemed as if she didn't care about appearances or society's expectations. Which was disturbing since she based her life around what the world told her she should be: a shallow, materialistic, superficial bitch.

Too bad he didn't care enough to bring it to her attention. He didn't really want to know why his ex-girlfriend was mainlining vodka at a dangerous rate. Especially if it had anything to do with her newest new boy-toy. Meant he wouldn't have to reach into his arsenal of cruel burns and spend this night like every other for the past year and a half. But as she greedily gulped down more of the potent liquid, his curiosity rose.

There was only one other time he saw her drink like that and it was when her father had been carted off to jail. She got beyond smashed that night and he got stuck holding her hair back while she bowed down to the porcelain gods. It wasn't the coolest night they ever spent together or one they ever talked about. There was never a thank you directed to him but that was probably because she couldn't remember. Not that he did it just to hear those empty words or burn her about it the next day.

His reason for spending the majority of the night in the bathroom with her was because she was his chick and she needed him. But now, that title no longer belonged to her. So if she got drunk off her ass and sick from it, it wasn't his responsibility to take care of her this time. He was free to laugh and make endless burns about it. The job of Jackie's dedicated shmuck was Randy's or whoever else wanted to have the claim of being her perfect love this week.

But looking at her slurping down mouthful after mouthful of vodka and not flinch from the sting of it, he wondered what brought this binge on. His brow furrowed as he realized that she had been drinking more lately. Anytime they were hanging in the basement, she'd participate and down several beers. In fact, she was able to drink more than Donna, a feat no one ever believed they'd see. She was dangerously close to being able to match him drink for drink.

He'd probably end up kicking himself for what he was about to do but that old, protective instinct he harbored toward her washed over him as he finished his beer. Due to the rocky nature of their current relationship, he couldn't come out and ask her what was wrong. And even if he did, she wouldn't tell him out of fear that he was trying to burn her, which he usually did. That meant he had to take a tact she wasn't familiar with to catch her off guard so she wouldn't just glare or flip him off.

"You feel like sharing that?" He turned to face the couch and inclined his thumb toward the rapidly dwindling bottle.

She scowled slightly, looking at something only she could see then down at the white knuckled grasp she had on the clear glass, obviously deliberating. Her teeth tugged on her lower lip, raking over the supple appendage. A sigh tumbled out of her mouth and the bottle was held out in his direction. When he took it from her, she hastily pulled her arm back against her side.

And she managed to do it all without looking at him or speaking a single word. That was an impressive effort on her part but a telling one. She was trying to hide the fact that she had been crying and didn't want to give him any ammunition to use against her. A defensive reaction. An attempt at self-preservation. One he knew exactly how to exploit.

He took a sip of the vodka, his breath hissing over his lips as it burned its way down his throat. His eyes narrowed as he examined the bottle then widened as he noticed that it was a hundred proof. This stuff was strong enough to put a man twice her size on his ass. Slanting a gaze toward the ninety-five pound chick on the couch, he wondered how the hell she was still upright. She was completely still on the couch, which was really unlike her because usually she full of energy and could never sit still.

"Didn't picture you as a hard, cheap liquor kind of girl. Or else I would have taken advantage of it a long time ago." He threw out, baiting her. But it got no response. Leaning forward in his seat, he tried to get a better glimpse of her face. "Thought Vodka would be too pedestrian for your tastes. Not classy enough for a Burkhart."

Shoulders slumped slightly but again, there was no verbal acknowledgement of the barb tossed in her direction. He didn't know if she was choosing to ignore him or if she was on the verge of a stupor. If she was just ignoring him, it was going to piss him off and he'd have to cruelly remind her what she was. But if she wasn't and this was actually something real to be concerned about then he needed to know.

"How come you left the party?" He waited for an answer that never came. Worry was beginning to seep through his mask as he stared at her unmoving frame. She drank two thirds of the bottle herself in a short amount of time when ordinarily she'd nurse her drink as long as she could. "Hey, you conscious?"

Once again, the silence mocked him.

"Jackie?" He called her name, expecting for it to garner a reaction. But there was nothing, physical or verbal, to indicate that she heard him. "Shaun Cassidy's upstairs with an engagement ring."

Even the mention of her favorite Hardy Boy and her favorite piece of expensive jewelry failed to stir her and he knew that something was wrong. He stood, walking around the coffee table so he could get a better look at her. Her eyes were open, glassed over, rimmed with red and unseeing. Full lips were slightly parted, shallow puffs of air sliding past them. The usually flawless olive skin was blotchily flushed a dark, troublesome pink.

He waved a hand in front of her face, "If this is some ploy to try to get me to care…"

But it was no ploy, no mind game to gain the advantage in their battle and no bitchy manipulation to get him to do something she wanted him to. Whatever was wrong with her was legit. A bolt of panic shot through him and he bent down, pushing a stray lock of hair away from her face. "Jackie, I need you to look at me."

Her eyes remained fixed on the nothingness, failing to meet his terrified gaze. His hands cupped her face, tilting it up so he could get a better look at her. Beneath the rosy tint to her skin, it was paler than usual, a washed out grayish color. And it was alarmingly warm to the touch. He swallowed nervously, wondering exactly how much she had to drink and if she had accidentally taken anything.

"Doll?"

It had to be a stupor. Unfortunately for her, he was used to being on the other end of it and wasn't sure what to do. Keep her moving? Give her mouth-to-mouth? Put her in a cold shower? Slap her? None of those options were viable ones. She couldn't even look at him let alone walk; he didn't know CPR, the shower in the basement didn't actually work and no matter how much he wanted to at times, he couldn't hit her.

Something had to be done soon, before he was faced with the reality of not having her in his life anymore. Despite what he led everyone to believe, that was the last thing he wanted. Yeah, he was pissed at her and wanted to punish her for betraying him with that moron Kelso but not by letting her die. His gaze drifted from his ex to the basement door and he sighed. It was like twenty degrees outside but it was the only choice he had.

He hooked his arms around her and easily pulled her to her feet. She sagged against him; her petite body a boneless puddle, head rolling from the movement. Holding her tightly, his fingers slipped beneath her chin forcing her face up toward the light. The pupils were huge, only a thin band of blue and green encircled each one. He dragged her over to the door and opened it, figuring the crisp air would help.

A shiver ran though her body as the wind battered them. His teeth were chattering from the cold but he stayed there, holding her up as the powerful gusts swept down upon them. Arms tightened their hold on her as powerful shudders wracked her tiny frame. Thin, high, whimpers slipped over her lips and he brought his mouth to her ear. "It's ok doll. I have you. You're safe."

If possible, that only caused her to shake more. He shifted her in his arms, getting a better hold on her quaking frame and tucked her head protectively beneath his chin. His mind wandered again and once again he wondered if her current condition was really just the result of alcohol. All his life he dealt with drunks and had many of his own drunken episodes but nothing he seen or experienced came close to this. There had to be more to it but what?

Even if she had taken part in numerous circles, she wouldn't be like this. When stoned and drunk, the former cheerleader got introspective and deep, well as deep as she could manage. So what did that leave him with? Cocaine? Acid? Quaaludes? Downers? Some other type of drug his panicked mind couldn't think of at that moment?

"Jackie, baby, what happened to you?"

There was genuine concern in his voice and the slightest hint of fear. Fear that he had a part to play in this. He knew that she wasn't the same. That her self-destructive spiral was directly related to the way he had been treating her for the past year and a half. She hadn't been the same since he told her to have a nice trip but once his "wife" showed up, she had become a stranger. The once vibrant, out-going, talkative girl had turned into a quiet, sullen, angry woman.

All because of one stupid mistake that he wished he could take back. A mistake that he spent every day of his life regretting. He didn't know why he chose Sam over Jackie. Probably because he was angry about finding Kelso in Jackie's hotel room and wanted to hurt his bossy, shrill ex. And even though Jackie repeatedly insisted that nothing happened between her and Kelso, his insecurities wouldn't allow him to really believe it so he decided it was easier staying with a woman he didn't love than taking a chance on the one he did.

Deep down, he knew that if he let her get close to him again, he'd want her back. But the damn Kelso demon that taunted him since they started dating would always be between them, making him wonder if he was the one she settled for because she couldn't manage to stay with her first love. So he turned all his anger, all his pain on her, tearing her down every opportunity he got and using Sam, booze or cruelty as his buffer. He only wanted to knock her down a little, make her realize that she had faults and flaws, that she could be resisted. Obviously, he went too far which his task, pushing her past the edge of reason.

"The things I said," He licked his dry lips. "I didn't mean."

She just continued shivering, him holding her body upright as snow began to blow in on them. He pushed hair from her face, stroking it soothingly. "I was just lashing out cause I was mad."

"If I had known…" He trailed off, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

From upstairs he could hear the annoying sound of noisemakers, horns and yelling as the party guests ushered in 1981. They were excited a new year, a clean slate. Everything was fresh and new for them. But looking down at the diminutive brunette he was holding up, he knew that for them it was just another day. One of the many they had of trying to pretend that they were all right, that they weren't falling apart like they had been since that fateful day in a Chicago motel.


	2. Chapter 2

**January 1****st****, 1981 4:26 pm**

Point Place Hospital Waiting Room 

Hands raked through unruly curly hair and Hyde sighed, shifting to try to get comfortable in one of the hospital's hard plastic chairs. His bloodshot blue eyes, hidden behind his trademark sunglasses, drifted to the clock in the waiting room and he squinted as he looked at it. Seventeen hours since Jackie went into her stupor. Five hours since Mrs. Forman instructed him to call an ambulance because she still hadn't moved and no one could wake her. Two and a half hours since the doctor last updated them with no real information other than, "she hasn't regained consciousness".

The doctors wouldn't give them the specific reason it happened or what was really going on with her. Said they could only release that information to her family. He laughed spitefully at that but didn't bother to tell them that her father was in jail or that her mother was in some bar somewhere south of the border. But even without the official cause from the doctor's, a rattled Fez confirmed his suspicion. Hours later, it still ate away at him, simultaneously hurting and pissing him off.

Apparently, he was the only one beside Red and Kitty who didn't know that Jackie had turned to her mother's well-stocked medicine cabinet. Or that she started abusing the variety of uppers, downers and other drugs that Pam brought back from her voyages after his Vegas mistake showed up at the Forman's door. That this wasn't the first time she ended up in the hospital because of too much alcohol or drugs, however it was the worst. But the thing that made him want to shred them was the fact that not a damn one of them tried to do something about her destructive behavior. They just sat on their asses and watched as she allowed the darkness to take her over.

He exploded, slamming his hand into a wall but wishing that it had been the faces of his friends that took the brunt of his anger. They tried to make excuses saying they didn't know how bad it had really gotten, deflected by invoking the fact that she had the right to make her own choices and then reminding him that he didn't care either. It was all bullshit though. The truth was that they were all caught up in their lives and content to let her drown in her misery. If they really were half as concerned with her actions as they claimed to be, they would have come to him.

"Hey, can we talk?" Donna's voice jarred him from his thoughts and he looked up at her, scowling.

"Let me think about that." His scowled turned into the same cold, cruel smirk that he developed since Chicago, the one he used to reserve for his solely for his ex. But looking at the tall blonde, he felt she deserved to know what it felt like to be on the receiving end of his rage for once. "No."

"Hyde," She sat next to him, shifting so she could face his wrath. "I tried, so many times. Honestly I did. But she didn't want to listen, didn't care if…"

"If she died?" The words were a savage hiss and he had the satisfaction of seeing her swallow nervously. "Tell yourself that all you want. Won't make it true. Someone should have done something."

"Like what?"

"Anything."

She shook her head, her eyes narrowing. "Oh, I get it. By anything you mean that we should have told you."

"Yeah."

"Why?" Her tone was acid laced. "So you could burn her? Tell her what a spoiled, stupid bitch she was? Laugh? Once again, take pride in the fact that you really screwed her up?"

"I wouldn't have done that-"

"Now who's slinging bullshit? Maybe you've drank and smoked away all your memory but allow me to fill in the gaps for you. From the moment Sam showed up, all you did was rip her apart."

"But if I knew,"

"Yeah, right!" Frustrated, she glared at him, eyes radiating hatred, bitterness and disappointment as she once again interrupted him without remorse. "You want the truth? Fine. The reason we didn't tell you was because we were keeping a promise."

"What promise?"

"Jackie didn't want you knowing anything about her anymore. She knew that you'd just use it against her. We knew she was right. You didn't care about her. All you wanted to do was hurt her. So we agreed not tell you a damn thing."

She threw that out so maliciously, so deliberately it brought his simmering anger to the boiling point. His hands tightly clenched, knuckles whitening as he struggled to suppress the urge to hit her even though she deserved it. "Get the fuck away from me." He hissed warningly but when she made no move to do so, he exploded. "NOW!"

Donna must have realized that she crossed the line. Her face drained of color, eyes widened, lips parted as she stared at him as if she was trying to read him. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it quickly at the withering gaze he shot her. With a heavily expelled breath, she got up and crossed the room, rejoining the others. They whispered then eyes swung toward him, causing him to roll his eyes and look toward the double doors.

A doctor came through them and waved Mrs. Forman over to his side. For a few minutes, they talked, voices no more than a whisper. Kitty's shoulders slumped and her hand covered her mouth. The doctor's face was grave and severe as he consulted the chart in his hands. As the doctor walked back through the doors, she sobbed and immediately went to Red's side.

He shut his eyes, that agonizing fear washing over him. A million different thoughts ran through his mind but only one stuck. It was the one possibility that ripped the breath from his lungs. That made his stomach turn and bile rise in his throat. The one notion that stole his ability to be Zen and would shatter what remained of him.

_Jackie was dead._

His eyes remained closed as he struggled with the ugly, twisted possibility. Beneath his unmoving eyelids, pressure was building up. He swallowed thickly, refusing to let it become tears. There was a crushing weight breathing down on him and his chest felt like it was going to explode. It felt like someone was inside his stomach, shredding his gut with a knife.

A hand closed over his shoulder, firm and strong. He knew it was Red before the only father figure he ever had spoke quietly to him. "Gather the dumb-asses. We have news about the loud one."

But there was no need for the command. They were starting to make their way over, obviously having watched the interaction between the doctor and Mrs. Forman as closely as he had. Now gathered around the tiny woman who was barely holding back her tears, he noticed that all their facial expressions were similar. Anxious. Tense. Pained. Hurt. Thinly veiled hope…

"I talked to the doctor and explained Jackie's unique family situation. Since there's no immediate family around for them to contact, he told me what happened and what's wrong with her." Kitty's voice broke and she looked at her husband for support, silently begging him to take over.

Red, always blunt, laid it out for them in no uncertain terms. "Jackie's in a coma. Has been since last night."

It felt like someone punched him in the stomach because he couldn't breathe. Trying to only made the ache in his chest worse. He leaned against the way, torn up on the inside, but completely expressionless on the outside. The master of Zen, the uncaring asshole, the role he grown so accustomed to playing. Right now, it was being used as a crutch.

"Dad, is she going to…" Eric couldn't finish the question that was on all of their minds and looked helplessly at his father, Donna tightly pressed to his side.

"They don't know son."

Kitty sniffled, "Her vitals are good so that means there's an excellent chance she'll come out of it."

From the look on her face, Hyde knew that she was holding back. He cleared his throat with a cough and caught his pseudo mother's misty eyes. "But what?"

"Depending how long she's in the coma, there could be complications." She answered quietly, squeezing Red's hand for comfort.

"What kind of complications?" Donna's voice betrayed the fact that she was holding back tears.

"Well, uh," The older woman took a deep breath and put on her nurse face. "The most severe are decline in motor skills, memory loss and in the worst case, brain damage."

For a minute, there was nothing but silence as the once tight-knit group of friends digested the news. Then it broke. Red and Kitty embraced as if they were each other's lifeline. Fez wailed, dropping into a seat and burying his face in his hands. Donna sobbed, tears streaking down her face. Eric shook his head and clutched tightly to his girlfriend. Kelso stalked off and from the direction he went, there was a loud metallic clang.

Hyde was motionless, guilt washing over him. It was his fault she was laying in that hospital room, in danger of losing her life or herself. The inability to give her what she wanted had set the sick chain of events in motion. His cruel actions drove her to her mother's stash. He didn't tell anyone what was wrong with her until twelve hours after he figured out she wasn't responsive.

Or maybe everyone was right and he didn't care. He noticed something off about her for a while but never confronted her on it. Just sat back and burned her every chance he got, enjoying the pain he inflicted on her. The dullness of her eyes, the brittleness of her smile, the quietness she wrapped herself in were all ignored. His wounded ego and pride standing in the way from reaching out when she needed someone.

But from what Donna said, Jackie went above and beyond to keep him out of her business. She did a good job because his knowledge of the petite brunette's life was seriously out of date. Hs pride in her abilities to freeze someone out was short lived. Anger toward her replaced it and he kicked the wall in frustration. That damn stubborn, haughty, pride put her pathetic life in jeopardy.

The usual bitter, heated thoughts took over his mind and a fresh stab of hatred for her flowed through his veins. For a minute, he did it again, took the blame for why she was so fucking screwed up. It was her fault she was comatose, not his. Her stupidity over the last year and a half sent her life spinning out of control, not a few heated burns he threw at her. She took the questionable pills. Guzzled the massive amount of vodka. He played no part in those choices, had no hand in obtaining the things that directly led her here.

Suddenly, he wondered why he was there. The other's presence at the hospital made sense, his didn't. They were over, had been for a long time, hell both of them had long since moved on. There was no friendship between them and the only reason they were still in each other's proximity was because of the mutual friendships with the rest of the gang. Other than being the unfortunate one who witnessed her slip into the unknown, they hadn't spent anytime by themselves in over a year.

He pushed off the wall and took a deep breath. "I'm out of here."

"What?" Fez's voice cracked on the question. He wished the foreign kid would just shut up. Leave the Q and A session at that one question. But Fez being Fez, he knew it was a lost hope when the candy bandit opened his mouth again. "How can you just leave? Jackie is lying in that bed and she might not ever wake up."

"Don't care." He shrugged at the pissed off glares being thrown at him.

"Bastard!" Donna yelled as he started walking away. "No good, heartless, self-righteous prick!"

Turning back to the assembled gang, he tossed that icy, unnerving smirk at her once again. He saw their expressions change from hopeful to resigned, as they knew that her heated cry hadn't broken through the wall he erected. "Yeah, I am."

"Steven," Kitty's voice was pleading and it stopped him in his tracks. "Don't you want to see her before you go?"

"Why would I?"

With that, he walked out of the hospital without letting anything else stop him, even the sight of a distraught Kelso sitting against a wall, smoking a cigarette and crying his eyes out over their mutual ex-girlfriend. He climbed into the Camino, and let the engine idle for a few minutes before tearing out of the parking lot in a overly screech of rubber against asphalt. Speeding down the all too familiar streets, he didn't see anything but her god damn face. Those mismatched eyes that looked as if they could see into his soul. It pissed him off and his foot slammed down on the accelerator, trying to drive her away, not realizing that the warmth seeping down his cheeks was really tears.

He resisted the tug he felt to turn around and go back to the hospital. To see her one last time, to tell her that he was sorry. It wouldn't do any good. All that remained of her was a shell of a woman he no longer knew. The empty vessel of what she'd become. His Jackie was long since gone, left behind in a skuzzy motel room in Chicago where their lives had crashed and burned.


	3. Chapter 3

**January 8****th****, 1981 9:30 pm**

_Forman's Basement_

All the beer was gone, the cans piled up in a massive pyramid. A week straight of doing nothing but drinking had burned through the five cases Hyde bought when he left the hospital. He couldn't even blame their demise on anyone else, since none of his so-called friends were speaking to him. They'd just glare, curse and walk away every time he came into the basement. The thing that sucked most of all is that they wouldn't even take part in a circle.

The fall out from him walking away from his comatose ex didn't end with them though. After expressing their disappointment with him and several choice dumbass and foot in ass comments, they'd also adopted the silent treatment and Kitty had gone on a cooking strike. Bob had yelled at him, in between breaking down in sobs, the gist of it being that he didn't deserve Jackie and he sucked. Randy was avoiding him, asking to be scheduled to work either by himself or with Leo. Even Leo was mad at him for abandoning loud girl because loud girl loved him and it was a shitty thing to do.

He didn't get why it was such a big deal. It didn't make a difference if he went to the hospital or not. There was no change in Jackie's condition. She was still as out of it as she had been since New Year's Eve. So why go, sit and stare at the unconscious women when it wouldn't help her. If she ever woke up, she wouldn't ask if he had been there, sure the others would tell her that her wasn't but she wouldn't care. Because his name would be on the list of the people she didn't want to see.

So really, he was just doing what he knew she'd want him to. She'd be happy that he stayed away. And happy that he didn't see her in such a vulnerable, humiliating…

The thought trailed off like it always did and was accompanied by a loud scoff in his mind. There wasn't enough alcohol or "film" in the universe that would make him believe it, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself. But it was good to have an excuse if he ever needed it. Like say, if people got on his nerves too much about this and he needed to get them off his back. Or if Jackie did wake up and decide to kick the hell out of his shins with her pointiest boots for not going to see her.

Just the thought of it sent a pain racing through his leg. He grimaced, rubbing the spot that she favored. For a chick that was so tiny and weighed next to nothing, she had one hell of a kick. The bruises and cuts she could inflict never ceased to amaze him, even though he wasn't fond of the scarring that went along with them. For his own protection, if she did come out of the coma then he was going to invest in catcher's gear and a very sturdy cup. The diminutive force wouldn't be able to cause much bodily harm that way.

A smile tugged at his lips as he pictured her all riled up, her face alight with rage and ready to kick some ass. Jackie was always beautiful but when she was pissed, she was even more. Her eyes smoldered, the anger crackling in the different colored orbs like electricity. Those full, pouty lips would widen in outrage. Olive toned cheeks would flush a heated crimson and puffed out slightly with every indignant breath she took.

She'd toss her chocolate color hair over her shoulder and size you up, just waiting for an opportunity to level you with a verbal tirade. Her chest would rise and fall rapidly as her small hands curled into tiny fists that were capable of doing more damage than you'd expect. Then the insults would come, as sharp and cutting as her perfectly manicured nails would be on skin. But when she got quiet, that's when you had to worry. Maybe she only weighed ninety-five pounds but when she launched herself at you, it was surprising how much power she had behind it.

Reality hit him and he again felt that ache in his chest that sprouted over the last week, the one that showed up whenever his inebriated mind permitted him to think something positive about her. He did his best to ignore it or when it become too persistent, he fell back on his anger toward her. Because he didn't like that damn ache. It reminded him that chances were, he'd never see her in that or any state again. That she was probably going to die.

His breathing turned laborious and he bent at the waist, resting his forehead against his knees. He told himself to stop thinking about her. To go back to not caring. Sometimes, it was easy and only took half a second to start running down all the shitty, petty, bitchy things she did. But over the last few days, it became harder for him not to let himself fall into thinking about the good things about her.

He hated that she was still under his skin. It sucked not being able to enjoy his alcohol and pot induced escape from his suckfest of a life because he inevitably started thinking about her. Once he started thinking about Jackie, he couldn't stop. It killed him that no matter how hard he tried to stop, he still loved her. And unfortunately, he probably always would.

But love only meant pain and betrayal. Regrets and what ifs. Anger and resentment. Unhappiness and tears. Screaming, disappointment and eventually hatred.

Their broken relationship had those attributes in spades. The bad stuff had started to outweigh the good a long time ago. For the longest time, they tried to pretend that it didn't. That everything between them was fine and that the clock on their union wasn't running out. But it did, in dramatic fashion. With the way it shattered, there was no chance that either one of them would ever consider getting back together again.

Because they both knew that it would only lead to more pain. More arguments over stupid, irrational shit that shouldn't matter. Trust issues would spring up again, unwanted but undeniable. There'd be more tears, more punched walls, more thrown objects. Then the pregnant silences would take over and the demons would come out to play, making them question everything about their relationship.

The door to the basement opened and he turned toward it, a heavy sigh escaping his mouth. "Speaking of demons."

Kelso crossed over to him, glaring down. The usually happy man looked enraged, brows drawn together. He was breathing heavily, eyes not wavering from the blue ice chips in front of him. And in those eyes were a strange clarity. No confusion. No stupidity. None of the usual fear and trepidation. It was obvious that the silent holding pattern they were in was about to come to an end, probably a violent one.

"I have something to say to you."

Hyde groaned under his breath and got to his feet, knowing that he needed to be prepared for whatever was about to happen. He slipped into his best Zen expression, emotionless, detached, disinterested as he posed his less than friendly inquiry. "What?"

"I don't believe you man, sitting here and getting drunk like nothing's wrong. Well something is wrong. Jackie's in a coma and she might not wake up."

"Thanks for the status report."

"When you first bailed, I figured you were just upset. I thought that you'd take a day and cool off then go see her. But now I know the truth. You're just an asshole."

Lips curved in that smirk of disdain, mocking and cruel. "Good to know."

"She doesn't deserve this! If it wasn't for you, she wouldn't be in that hospital right now!"

Kelso was shaking but he knew that it wasn't because the taller guy was afraid. It was rage coursing through his veins, the need to let it out. He knew that because he was feeling the same thing, dealing with the same tremors. Every muscle in his body was coiled in anticipation of the moment this discussion broke down. When it did, someone was either going to be walking away bruised and cut or wouldn't be walking away at all.

"I didn't shove the pills and booze down her throat." He reminded his friend acidly, his hands shoving at his shoulder. "She did that all on her own."

"Jackie wouldn't have started taking pills if you weren't so stubborn and let her explain what happened that night." His voice dropped an octave, malice deepening it. "But instead, you run off and marry a fucking stripper."

He wanted to hit him for throwing this in his face and not taking responsibility for his part in the pathetic ordeal. Or wrap his hands around Kelso's throat and not let go until there was no more breath in the other man's body. But he didn't. His expression was stoic but the hate, the anger turned his eyes the color of the sky before a tempest erupted. "You know you're on a roll with the stating the obvious thing tonight man."

"I was wrong when I said that we screwed her up." The words were spewed venomously, his hands clenching and unclenching. "You screwed her up and you're still doing it. But since you enjoy making sure Jackie knows that hate her…"

Something inside of him snapped. His fist drove into Kelso face, slamming into his eye. But this time there was no verbal announcement of that fact. Just as he drove his fist back to strike again, the former cop tackled him to the ground. They rolled around, battling for the upper hand. Wild shots were exchanged, some missing their intended mark but some landing with surprising accuracy.

They grunted and groaned, trading blows. Things crashed to the ground as they were bumped into. The beer can pyramid clattered to the cement floor, raining down upon them. Footsteps sounded on the stairs, accompanied by shouts and cries. People wrenched them apart, dragging the snarling, struggling men to opposite sides of the room.

Red and Donna had Hyde pinned against the wall by the basement door, telling him to stop. Eric and Bob had Kelso by the freezer, instructing him to let it go. Kitty stood in the middle of the chaos, teary eyes darting back and forth between them, begging them not to do this. But neither of them were listening, still struggling against the unwanted holds on them and snarling obscenities at each other. Everyone in the room knew that if either boy was able to slip out of the holds, the brawl would continue until only one could walk away.

"Kelso, just chill ok?" He heard Eric implore in a high, tight voice. "Fighting isn't going to fix anything."

"Steven if you don't stop, you'll be struggling to get my foot out of your ass." Red warned sternly, slamming him back against the wall for added emphasis.

"Please, boys, I know that you're both upset about Jackie but this isn't going to help you or her!" Kitty cried out, trembling as her eyes settled on his. "Steven please…"

His body stilled and he put his hands up, indicating that he wasn't going to do anything. Slowly, he was released but neither Donna or Red took a step away from him, ready to hold him back if it looked like he was going to go after Kelso again. He licked his lip, tasting blood and smoothed down his shirt. Outwardly he appeared calm but inside, the anger was still boiling. Years of Kelso trying to rip him and Jackie apart with stupid schemes and unwanted advances fueling the flames.

But he couldn't do anything more about it here. He'd put the Forman's through enough for the night, hell for a lifetime over the course of the last few years. The fight was far from over though. It wouldn't be until everything was settled between them, until no bad blood remained. He turned to Kelso, who still looked like he was ready to erupt and tear him apart over the issue of their mutual ex. "It's not over."

"Not by a long shot." Kelso agreed, holding his gaze.

"Guys," Donna shook her head. "You can beat each other senseless and it's not going to do any good. It's only going to destroy your friendship."

"You know," Kelso laughed and rolled his eyes. "I don't think we've really been friends in a long time. We just hung onto the idea so it wouldn't tear the group apart. But the group's in shambles anyway so there's no reason to pretend anymore."

That was the most intelligent, well thought out thing that he ever heard come out of Kelso's mouth. Maybe because there was a lot of truth rooted in it. They had become adversaries a long time ago. And he knew the exact moment. When Kelso found out about him and Jackie hooking up.

"That's not…" Forman was going to try to refute just to hold onto what was left of the once tight group of friends. "You guys are…"

"The dill hole's right."

Kelso nodded, "Good. I think there's something else we'll agree on."

"You're an idiot?"

"No, you staying away from Jackie." His voice was firm, flat, not to be argued with, the anger of moments ago barely held back.

All eyes were on him; Hyde could feel it. They wanted him to say he would. To say that the week he spent avoiding the hospital was only the beginning. That he planned on never seeing her again. He opened his mouth up to give them what they wanted, to tell them that he had no desire to ever lay his eyes on the bitchy brunette.

The words wouldn't come. They were right there, on the tip of his tongue but refused to be spoken aloud. Because they'd be a stupid, pointless lie. If she woke up, they'd bump into each other someplace or she'd come back to the basement. And if she didn't then the Forman's would force him to go to her funeral.

Why should he agree to it anyway? It was a free country or so the government claimed. He had as much right to see her as any of them did. More of a right than Kelso did. Didn't the pretty boy moron know by now that he never listened to authority? There was no way in hell that he was going to avoid her just because that's what his rival wanted.

"Hyde?" Kelso's voice caught his attention. "I won't let you hurt her anymore. And since that's all you do, you shouldn't be near her."

"Whatever." He grabbed his jacket and pulled it on.

"Steven!" Kitty called out, concern lacing through his name. He turned and looked at her, noting the troubled expression on her face. "Steven, where are you going?"

"For a drive." With that, he stormed out of the basement into the freezing Wisconsin night.


	4. Chapter 4

**Spoilers: **Jackie Bags Hyde and I Can't Quit You Babe

* * *

**January 9th, 1981 4:15 AM**

_Grooves record store_

The couch in the listening pit wasn't comfortable. It was cramped and the cushions sunk down too much, not giving the body a lot of support. Every time you moved, it creaked and groaned under the weight. To fit on it, Hyde had to keep his legs bent and resign himself to not moving. His neck was going to be sore in the morning from being pressed up against the arm.

But he couldn't go back to the Forman's tonight. He knew that once he woke up he'd be lectured, that he'd see the disappointment on their faces. Right now, he couldn't deal with it. Not when he was so close to losing it. It was better for him to suffer here, alone, until he regained his cool and was able to deal with seeing them.

How Leo could pass out on it so easily completely escaped him. The again maybe it really wasn't such a mystery. Leo could take a nap just about anywhere, even on the ground behind trashcans. Guess it was because the older guy didn't have anything on his mind keeping him from sleeping whenever the hell he wanted to. He wasn't tormented by thoughts he shouldn't be having, by the knowledge that there was a possibility that the one woman he loved was barely clinging to life.

Unfortunately, he didn't suffer from the same problem. The problem plaguing him was the exact opposite of that. His mind was running crazy and every time he closed his damn eyes a memory of his time with Jackie would pop up. They tortured him and make it hard to breathe, even worse than when he was forced to wear a tie. He didn't want to think about her anymore but for some reason, he couldn't stop and that pissed him off.

Between the fight with Kelso, driving around aimlessly for hours and smoking the last of his stash, he'd been through enough and deserved to get some rest. Apparently his subconscious didn't agree because the second he let himself relax, another damn visual sprung up. But this time, it refused to be pushed into the far recesses of his mind just because he opened his eyes. It taunted him, demanding that he not ignore it…

_Jackie was snuggled up next to him on the hood of her father's car at Inspiration point, wrapped in his jacket. She studied him intently, trying to figure out if he was having a good time or if he liked her. But his face remained blank, the impenetrable wall of Zen not giving it away. So she resorted to her strong suit, talking. " So...our first date's almost over."_

_"Yep."_

_That inquisitive look was still on her face and he was a little disturbed by the fact that he was starting to notice just how hot she really was. "What'd you think?"_

_He thought about that. Being with her, it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. In fact, it was kind of…nice. She was surprisingly cool, beautiful and her mismatched eyes were really unique. But there was no way that he was going to say that to her or any chick because he had a reputation to protect. "It was no worse than bowling."_

_A confused look crosses her face at the vague response so he decided to be cool and clarify it a little. "I don't hate bowling."_

_She nodded, smiling slightly and their eyes locked. They stared at each other for a moment, the air growing heavy with electricity. Leaning toward each other, their lips meet hesitantly. It's a soft, slow, sweet kiss as they familiarize themselves with the other's mouth. Her hand cupped his cheek as her lips parted in invitation for him to deepen the, which he was willing to do._

_Her mouth was warm and tasted like orange soda. His tongue tangled with hers teasingly and he felt her shudder in response. She gave as good as she got, doing her best to return his fervor and sighing as he took languid sips from the sweet recess._

Hyde shook his head vehemently, forcing the unwanted memory away. He was there for their ill-fated first date, no need to relive it. So what if it was their first real kiss and he lied about not feeling anything? It obviously meant nothing to either of them. She went back to Kelso the next day and he went back to hooking up with random, nameless chicks that he tossed aside when he got bored with them.

It wasn't like that one stupid date changed anything. So what if they got along better, if they were friendlier toward each other? It was just because he decided it was more fun and less migraine inducing to pick on Kelso. There was no secret pining. They didn't stare at each other wistfully and wonder what could have been. The temptation to find a way to be alone and make-out was practically nonexistent.

So what if he added a few fantasies to his file? It was completely normal. Or that he noticed how short her stupid cheerleader's uniform was? He wasn't blind or gay. It didn't matter if his gaze flicked over her toned legs, her supple body, her lush lips or her perfectly firm ass. Because it meant nothing, absolutely nothing. Nothing at all. Emotions and feelings were something he didn't possess, especially for the shrill, obnoxious cheerleader who represented everything he hated.

His inner voice was laughing at him, taking pleasure in the fact that he was lying to himself again. He tried to ignore it because he couldn't deal with it. But the damn thing only mocked him more, throwing another memory at him.

_They'd been alone in the basement a few weeks later, waiting for the others. The look on Jackie's face was troubled and she kept chewing on her lower lip. He pretended he didn't notice, that he didn't know the mannerism meant that she was upset. But he couldn't ignore it anymore._

_"What is it?" He snapped, frustration plain in his voice._

_She looked at him, startled, and blinked. "Huh?"_

_"You're chewing on your lip." He pointed out tersely, angry with himself for opening up the inevitable can of worms. "You only do that when Kelso's done something or screwed something up again."_

_"Oh." Her tongue ran over them and she shrugged. "I didn't realize I was."_

_"So what did Don Juan El Tardo do now?"_

_She hedged, "Everything's fine."_

_"Jackie,"_

_"I don't want to talk about it Steven." A tear slipped down her cheek and she wiped it away with more force than necessary. "It's stupid and I'm probably overreacting."_

_"Uh-huh."_

_More tears slid from her watery eyes. "I'm sure it didn't mean anything, that it was just a mistake, that he didn't even realize he did it."_

_"Jackie," But this time his tone was softer, concerned. "What did he do?"_

_"He called me Pam." She broke then, hysterical sobs tumbling helplessly over her lips._

_He sighed and took her in his arms. She buried her head in his chest, her tears scorching him through the fabric of his tee shirt. His hand stroked her hair but he couldn't find it in him to mumbled stupid consoling words. Because he surprised that it happened. Since her and Kelso's reunion, he had been waiting for something like this to occur._

_Anger burned in his veins as her sobs turned to gasps. Fucking Kelso. How did he manage to keep fucking things up and breaking Jackie's heart? Especially when she didn't deserve it, when she kept taking the moron back despite the fact that he couldn't keep it in his pants. He wished she'd just leave the idiot once and for all because she really did deserve better than Kelso._

_He drew her face up to his and met her misty gaze, wishing that he could be her something better but knowing that wasn't what she wanted. So he offered her the only thing she might accept from him. "You want me to kick his ass?"_

_"Oh Steven," She smiled then leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek._

A frustrated groan fell from his mouth and he rubbed his hands roughly over his face. If he had beer or more of his stash, he wouldn't be having this problem. He'd be passed out, content, not thinking about Jackie. There'd be no urge to drive his fist into the wall or to kick over the table in front of him. No temptation to call the hospital to see if there was any change in her condition.

He sat up with an annoyed growl and jerked his hands through his hair. Why was he doing this to himself? It was completely insane to let his guilt eat away at him when he had no control over anything. Nothing he did or didn't do mattered in this case. There was no easy way to fix the mess, no way to just shave off his mustache and have her wake up. And there was no chance that when it was over, their lives would go back to normal.

All this stupid trip down memory lane would do was show him how complicated life became. How he would have been better off if he left her alone that summer. Things would have been so much easier if he just let her go off and find someone else, someone who didn't harbor a strange but strong mix of feelings toward her. Or if he just took off and didn't come back until she was gone. But instead he stayed and fell prey to the summer heat.

_"Another old lady!" The words were practically an annoyed groan from the petite brunette's mouth. "She can't even reach the wheel!"_

_He forced himself not to chuckle appreciatively, not to look at her and smirk. It was bad enough that she was sitting so close to him, the warmth of her body beating against his and making his mind come up with things that it shouldn't. No reason to make it even worse by seeing her face._

_"I can't watch the Price is Right again!" He muttered to distract himself from the unwanted thoughts. "I can't!"_

_Her eyes were on him. He could feel the blue green gaze against his skin. Swallowing, he turned and his eyes landed on her lips. She swiped her tongue over them and he nearly groaned. His eyes traveled up to hers and he saw the blatant desire darkening the mismatched orbs._

_Then they kissed. Slow and explorative, just like the kiss they shared before. They broke apart and tried to resume watching the ridiculous game show. But there was no going back, no pretending that things were normal. Their lips met again, urgency and hunger replacing the tentativeness of before._

_He pulled her closer so that she was straddling his lap. Their tongues clashed passionately and shock after shock of pleasure coursed through his veins. Hand groped desperately, committing curves to memory. She moaned into his mouth and he lost what little control he had left, pushing her down on the couch. Her legs clutched at his waist and pulled him closer._

The table toppled over, crashing loudly to the ground and breaking upon impact. The noise pulled him from the painful memory and he stared at the destruction. His foot killed him from kicking over the table but he ignored it, standing up. Heavy, panting breaths filled the store and his chest rose and fell rapidly in anger. He pressed his clenched hands to his side because if he didn't, he'd tear the store apart.

His eyes went to the window and the dull, muted, grayish blue light that had started to seep into the store. The sun would be up soon. Another day of hell would begin. Customers would get on his nerves. His friends would ignore him. Red would yell and call him a dumbass. Kitty would cry and worry about him. He'd get drunk, get high and pretend that nothing mattered to him.

Just like he had everyday since he walked out of that damn motel room in Chicago. It was easier than caring and letting himself be vulnerable. Less painful to shut off his emotions and act like the unfeeling asshole he always feared he could be. Bitterness and anger made the transition easy and he clung to the role, hell bent on not caring. The booze helped him keep from breaking character and hate himself for the things he was doing, especially to Jackie.

Like when he burned her and made her cry. Every time he forced himself to go to bed with Sam then threw it in her face. How he made it a point to parade his trashy wife in front of her and pretend that the dumb blonde slut made him happier than she ever had. After the stripper left, he turned to using every insecurity Jackie had against her. How he deliberately tried to sabotage her and Fez. The scathing, brutal lies he told Fez that finally got him to break up with her.

The blind eye he turned to her downward spiral. All the cruel remarks he made about her attempts to get her life together. His laughter over her losing every job she got. Telling her that she was just like her mother. Suggesting that she follow her mother's lead…

Bile rose in his throat and he gagged, sinking down onto the couch as another memory, only a few weeks old sprung to mind.

_He watched her out of the corner of his eye, brow furrowed as she stared vacantly off into space, chewing on her unmanicured nails. That wasn't the only shocking thing about her appearance. She was dressed in all black, her sweatshirt baggy and faded. Her hair hung limply down her back and her face was free of make-up. Instead of her usual high- heeled boots, she had on a ratty pair of black Chuck Taylor converse._

_It was disturbing and he felt a sliver of concern slice through him. He quickly pushed it away and mentally cursed himself for being so stupid. Time alone with her was not a good thing. The best thing he could do was get rid of the bitch before he started reading more into her unusual demeanor and dress than there was._

_"Hey," He barked out, trying to get her attention. "Hey Wednesday Adams, I'm talking to you!"_

_Jackie slowly turned toward his voice and looked up at him, "Huh?"_

_"Why are you here?"_

_"I, uh," She blinked and he had the feeling that she didn't even know, that she was trying to remember. "I, um, I think I was supposed to meet Donna or maybe it was Fez…"_

_"Whatever." He stared at her, shocked that she forgot something. "They're not here. Leave."_

_"Yeah, I should, uh, go back to my house." She shook her head, "My mother's not home so they can call me whenever."_

_She hadn't lived with Pam in two years, hadn't heard from her lush of a mother for probably the same amount of time. He felt a shiver go through him and had to clamp down on his cheek before he asked if she was all right. "What?"_

_"Can you tell them I'll be home? I should be able to get Daddy's car if they want to go cruising." She stood but seemed unsure of what she just said. "I, uh, bye Hyde."_

_He stared after he retreating form, frowning. That was odd, beyond odd actually. Maybe she lost her damn mind. Could be that she was spending too much time in the circle. Or more likely this was some cheap ploy to get him to talk to her. It wouldn't work because he didn't care. Whatever was wrong with her wasn't his problem, not anymore._

Hyde cursed under his breath and stood up. He could have stopped it then. All he had to do was keep her there and force her to realize how stupid she was being. If that didn't work, he would have locked her in a room and badgered her until she admitted what she was doing. Then he would have told Mrs. Forman so Jackie would have help.

Too bad he didn't. He kept it to himself and pushed it out of his mind. All because of his stupid, wounded ego. It wasn't really surprising that he failed her. Wasn't the first time she needed something and he wasn't there for her. Only this time, it was a lot more serious than not telling her that he saw her in his future or not allowing her to explain why Kelso was just in a towel. This time failing her meant that she would either die or spend her life as a vegetable.

"Fuck!" He growled, pulling on his boots and jacket.


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N: **I'm leaving tomorrow for vacation and won't be back until Sunday. So the last chapter of this fic won't be up until Monday or Tuesday. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

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**January 9th, 1981 8:15 am**_Point Place Hospital_

The smell of antiseptic hung heavy in the air, making Hyde slightly queasy. He quickened his pace even though he wasn't in a hurry to reach his destination. Part of him wanted to turn and run the other way. But the other part of him knew that there was no choice. Jackie was going to wake up today; he was going to make damn sure of it. No matter what the cost to his well being.

When he reached the door to her room, he took off his sunglasses and hung them on the collar of his shirt. There'd be no Zen master. None of the usual sarcasm, avoidance and vagueness. No walls to hide behind today. He was going to face her and all the nasty things he'd done since they broke up. Some of those things, she didn't even know about yet.

He took a deep breath and pushed through the door. His eyes landed on her small, immobile form and he froze. She looked so tiny, so peaceful on the bed, her dark hair contrasting against the stark white pillows. Her skin was pale, pliant pink lips locked tightly together. A stab of pain shot through him and his breath faltered for a moment, as he started second guessing his plan.

She'd been through enough. There was no reason for her to have to suffer through hearing all the shitty things he'd done again. No reason she had to know exactly how low he was willing to go. If she was able to hear them then all it would do was cause more pain. And if it did get her pissed enough…

"Get it together man." He mumbled aloud. "You've got a mission and you can't run for it this time."

The door shut loudly behind him as he moved away from the doorway, further into the room. He slowly crossed over to her bed and sat down in the chair beside it. His eyes scanned her and he felt his heart constrict. Pushing it aside, he let out a shaky breath and started in on what he came to do. "I bet everyone that's come to see you has fawned all over you. Promised that if you wake up they'll go shopping with you, cook for you, spend all their time with you."

Sitting back, he got comfortable, propping his foot up on the edge of her bed. "But I'm not going to doll. I'm only here to get you to wake you the fuck up then it's back to the same routine before you ended up in here."

He swallowed thickly, pushing on. "I know you're loving the attention but you're taking this whole beauty rest thing a little too far. And if you're waiting for some white knight to rescue you, it's not going to happen."

This was harder than he thought it would be and he had to pause to take another deep breath and steel himself for what he was going to do. His plan was complicated and had a few backups built into it, all hinging on his ability to use what he knew about her to his advantage and push her buttons. The buttons he knew that she wouldn't be able to ignore even though she was in a coma. Buttons that could make her really despise him and decide that she never wanted to be near him again.

"You probably know that already though. So let me tell you a few things you don't know. When I'm done, you're going to get out of that bed and kick me in the shins or scratch my eyes out, shrieking about how much you hate me."

A wry smile curved his lips, "But as long as you're awake, it's fine."

"I didn't love Sam. Never could. She was an excuse, a way to keep you at arms length because for some reason we just can't seem to be together. It just doesn't work out."

"I don't know why. Maybe we're just too fucked up to ever make it work. You're bitchy and spoiled. Two of the many things I hate. I'm distant and cold. Two of the things you hate." His gaze shifted to her heart monitor and he tried to see if there was any change in the rhythm of it.

But so far, there was none.

"I purposely hurt you and enjoyed shoving her in your face. Because I was still pissed about Chicago, about you sleeping with Kelso."

"Oh yeah babe," The blip got a little stronger and he licked his lips. He didn't know if his plan was working or not but he couldn't stop. "I still think you screwed him. Don't care what you two say, I know what I saw."

The ventilator moved a little faster. "I never forgave you for that. Probably never will. So I lash out and burn you as brutally as I can. I don't think that I'm going to stop either."

He leaned in closer, trying to see if her chest movement matched the machines. "But these are all things you know about. The ones you don't, wow, those are going to make you want to choke me."

"Where should I start?" His words sounded cruel, twisted but it was all part of the strategy. "Let's start with Fez."

Ice blue eyes flickered across her face, looking for the slightest movement but there was none. Her expression remained still and peaceful. "I did a lot to keep you two apart, more than just the girl at the bonfire. I took him to strip clubs, I had random chicks hit on him and I tried to poison his mind against you, make him see that you're the devil."

"But Fez is stupid and didn't go for it. You two hooked up and he told me how you said the two of you were perfect for each other." He forced a spiteful laugh. "Yeah, right. Perfect love my ass."

"It pissed me off. I nearly put my damn hand through the wall."

He took his foot off the bed and shifted, "Then I came up with a plan to prove to him that you weren't. That he was just the next distraction. And you know what Jacks, you played right into my hands."

This was killing him. All he wanted was to back out, to get the fuck out of there. But he couldn't. He owed it to her to try to rouse her from this. So he let out a tremulous breath and continued.

"You've always been too caring, too willing to help someone even if they don't deserve it. So I used that to my advantage, got so fucking wasted that I could barely stand because I knew you wouldn't leave the basement until after I was passed out. And you didn't, remember that?"

"Fez came to see me the next day, got there about nine-thirty in the morning. His insecurity is what I counted on." He closed his eyes, breathing heavily. "So he asked me why it took you so long to come home. Now I could've told him the truth but come on, that wouldn't split you two up."

He didn't want to admit this but he had to. This part of the plan hinged on getting a verified reaction from her. "I told him that we slept together and that it wasn't the first time it happened since you two got together either."

Nothing seemed to change. The monitors and ventilator still moved at the same steady pace they had since he started talking. He didn't want to switch to plan B just yet. "He didn't believe me until I took it one step further."

"I told him that your relationship wasn't real. That I told you to "date" him because he was a good cover so people wouldn't know that we were hooking up again." He snickered and shook his head. "Fez tried to argue, tried to say he didn't believe it but with a few graphic details and a Polaroid of you on my lap that I snapped when I "accidentally" pulled you on top of me, he bought it."

"It was so easy that I decided to do it again when you started dating that dumb jockstrap…what was his name?" He ventured, looking down at her. But she was still tranquil and her eyes were resolutely closed. "Billy, Bobby, Brady, whatever, his name doesn't matter."

"Anyway, I cornered the guy when he came out of the Hub. Told him all about our special relationship. Also warned him that if he ever called you again, I'd break his face."

"Every date you had, they met me and heard all about our "arrangement". All of them were threatened." He ran his hands through his hair and let out a sigh. "You pick wimps doll. Not one of them was man enough to fight for you. They just did what I said and let you go."

"You're probably wondering why I did it. Eh, what I say, I'm asshole. Plus, I didn't like the idea of you dating. Just cause I can't be with you doesn't mean I want you to be with anyone else. Yeah, I know I'm a selfish jackass but we both know they could never fuck you the way I can."

That didn't get a rise out of her. Not even a damn twitch. He had to face it. This tact wasn't working. Part A of the plan was a bust. Time to switch gears and go to plan B.

"Ok, so maybe there was more to it than that." His tone was softer as he took her hand in his and tried to ignore how lifeless it was. "Jackie, I still love you and the idea that you could move on and be with someone else killed me."

"I know I don't deserve you. Especially since I've spent a long time being a prick to you but if you open your eyes, I'll stop."

Nothing.

Not even the flutter of an eyelash.

"Come doll, you've got to wake up." His tone was almost pleading. "If you don't want to do it for me then do it for everyone. Baby, we need you. I know we don't act like it but it wouldn't be the same without you."

The flaw with his logic was that there really wasn't a group to come back and she knew that better than anyone. Donna and Forman were always off together, planning and not going through with the next phase of their lives. Fez split his time between the salon and hanging in Chicago with Kelso. That only left him and she probably wouldn't want to go down that road again. Unless he could actually follow through on his word and stop hurting her.

The door opened and he turned, cursing softly when Forman entered the room. Great, he didn't need this right now, not when he was trying to do the right thing for once. "If you're going to lecture me, save your breath. I'm not here to cause shit. I'm actually trying to help."

"I'm not going to say anything to you or anyone else about this." He stood beside him and looked down. "So, no change?"

"Nope and I've tried everything I can think of." Hyde shook his head. "Saying shit to piss her off. Confessing just how bad I burned her. Telling her how I…"

He cleared his throat and amended that, not wanting to give his best friend any excuse to act all girly and start in on him. "Telling her how I didn't want to take the blame if she croaks."

"Sure man." Eric sighed, looking tired. "No one should be blamed for the devil's demise."

But the burn lacked his usual wit. It was flat, forced and hollow. He turned his attention back to his ex and shrugged. "You think she'll just stay like that forever, never wake up?"

"It could happen."

"Maybe she thinks it's like a fairytale and the prince has to kiss her or something."

Forman chuckled, "I could see that happening with the Jackie of a few years ago but not this one. She's too dark and angry for all the fairytale stuff now. Kind of like the chick in Snow White with the poisoned apple."

"The fact that you know that much about Disney movies scares me." He shook his head, pushing the unwanted imagery aside. "Do you think she can hear us? Or that she knows we're here with her?"

"My mom said she does. I guess her monitor and breathy tube show an increase in activity when she first hears a voice."

That knowledge made him slightly hopeful and he decided that he'd give plan C a try. It was the riskiest of all his plans. One that if she did wake up could very well backfire on him. Or cause more pain and hate between them. But it was the only other viable option left up his sleeve rather than trying the whole kiss the sleeping princess thing.

"All right Jackie, I'm going to turn the tables on you." He glared down at her. "Yeah, I'm giving you an ultimatum for once."

"Hyde, what are you doing man?" Forman's voice cracked nervously. "You, Jackie and ultimatums have never been a good mix. It usually leads to tears and drunken marriages to strippers."

He laughed, "Tell me something I don't know."

"This isn't a good idea. It's a bad one, a very bad one. I know you're trying to help but for the love of god, do something else." He was all twitchy, hands flying in those crazy gestures he was so proud of. "I don't have the stupid helmet with me!"

"Yeah, well, it's all I have left man." Hyde took a deep breath. "Ok Jackie, if you don't open your eyes by the time I'm about to walk out that door, we're over. And I mean really over. There'll be no going back this time."

"What are you doing?" Eric hissed nervously. "You've been over for a long time. Why offer something that'll only end up with both of you dead?"

"Whatever happens next is up to you doll." He stood up and stretched, working the kinks out of his body. "You want it to end this way, fine by me."

"Oh I can see the carnage now. Bodies littering the basement, fires, broken records and decapitated unicorns." Eric let out a mock wail. "Oh the humanity!"

He started to walk toward the door, taking small steps and looking over his shoulder. His heart was hammering in his chest. No reaction, no movement, no mismatched eyes being opened.

_Fifteen feet to the door. _

If something was going to happen then it had to happen soon because if he walked out that door, he wasn't coming back.

_Ten feet._

_Five feet._

_Three feet._

_Two feet._

His hand just curled around the handle of the door when he heard a raspy groan. He turned toward Eric, "Was that you?"

"No." His gaze was fixed on Jackie. "I think it was her."

Another groan and Hyde rushed over to the bed. He took her hand in his, lips curved in a smile. "Jackie, come on doll, wake up."

Her eyes fluttered open and he stared down into the different colored pools, shocked and relieved that she was awake. The relief was short lived though as he realized that something wasn't right. Her eyes lacked the usual sparkle and emotion. There was no flash of anger as they settled on his face then darted back and forth around the room. When they settled on him again, he realized exactly why her eyes looked so different before she opened her mouth to confirm it.

"Who are you?" Her voice was high, tight and frightened as she wrenched her hand free of his wearily. Fear was etched onto her face as she looked back at him, panicked. "Who am I?"


	6. Chapter 6

**A.N:** So here we've come to the end of this story. I've been going back and forth on the idea of a sequel and can't decide if I should do it or not. I guess I'll let the readers make the call. If there's enough interest in a sequel then I'll do one. If not then I enjoyed this ride and will hide out until the potential zennie lynch mob grows tired of the search.

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**January 9th, 1981 7:23 pm**

_Forman's Basement_

Hyde carried the case of beer into the basement, determined to drink until he either passed out or forgot everything about this horrible day. All daylong he had been trying to push it from his mind but nothing worked, not even several solo circles. It wasn't going to be easy. The challenge was another Everest for him, something that seemed impossible and daunting. But it needed to be conquered and fast. If he couldn't do it, he was probably going to lose what was left of his mind.

He sat in his chair and cracked open a beer. The first taste of it calmed his racing mind and he gulped more down eagerly. As soon as one can was empty, he opened another one. Every empty can was stacked into a pyramid, a useless endeavor that he only did because he couldn't sit still. By the eighth beer, he was frustrated. It wasn't having the desired effect. Instead of forgetting, every moment of their relationship, every burn and every time he made her cry kept replaying over in his head.

His hands made a rough pass over his face, a weak, meaningless attempt to wipe away the horrible images. Everything about her was burned into his memory though. The delicious scent of her hair and skin. Her trickling laughter. The feel of her supple lips against his. Her unique, mismatched eyes that could read him like no one else. The soft hands that used slide beneath his shirt. How her voice would hitch slightly on his name when they had sex.

The half-empty can of beer hit the wall before he realized that he had thrown it. He stared at the fizzing mess and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to calm down and get control over his erratic breathing. But the fact that he could hear his gasping breaths and his lung burned clued him into the fact that it was an unattainable goal. Nothing ever worked out for him how it was supposed to and it never would. He should've accepted that a long time ago and stopped trying.

Despite his best attempts to drive her mind from mind with drugs and alcohol, it hadn't worked a year and a half ago and it wasn't going to work now. He was doomed to spend the rest of his life suffering with the knowledge that he failed her. That even though he told her that he'd do anything for her, he didn't. When things got tough, he did what he did best and walked away, not bothering to look back. Leaving her broken and alone when she was completely falling apart.

She deserved better than that, especially from him considering all the things she did to help him. But he was a jealous, angry asshole hell bent on pretending that he hated her, that there was never anything real between them. It was a lie but one made in the interest of self-protection. Because it would have hurt too much to be close friends with her but not be together. It killed him to not be able to touch or kiss her and have to suffer through watching her think that Fez was her perfect guy and then try to date new people when he made sure that fell through.

He should've tried to fix things between them, told her how he felt. His pride and ego got in the way and always stopped him though. The idea of her rejecting him prevented anything but scathing barbs to pass lips. Made him choose a whore he could never love over the woman whose unconditional love scared him. Stopped him from pulling her back from the edge of the cliff she'd fallen off of.

Pressure was building behind his eyes and he pulled in a deep breath, blinking forcefully to relieve it. The pent-up emotions he held onto for the past couple of years were screaming for release. He couldn't hold them back anymore and slammed his already bruised hand into the thick concrete wall. It stung like hell but he ignored the pain and drove his hand into it again, grunting hoarsely. Again and again, he hit the wall and felt his skin tear and the bones crack.

"Hey! Hey!" Eric's voice rang out and something grabbed him, tearing him away from the concrete he'd been assaulting it. Hands gripped his shoulders, surprisingly strong, and he looked into nervous eyes, not understanding why they were so blurry. "Stop man. The wall's had enough. And so hasn't the mess you call your hand."

"Let me go Forman." He wanted the command to sound fierce but it didn't. It had come out as a thin, pained whine.

Eric shook his head, "Not happening Hyde."

"Forman, I'm fine."

A chuckle followed that statement and the eyes of his best friend rolled toward the ceiling and stared up at it for a long moment, as if he was asking it what he was going to do then locked on his again. "You think Jackie would want to see you doing this? Think she'd be impressed by you losing it?"

"This had nothing to do with her."

"Sure, this little meltdown has nothing to do with the fact that she's lying in a hospital bed with no idea who she is and might never remember." Eric stated sarcastically, shaking him. "That she might never remember who you are or what you two had."

He swallowed thickly, around the massive lump in his throat. He blinked and some of the blurriness eased up. But his anger swelled at the annoying, knowing look on his best friend's face. "I let her go a long time ago."

"Oh yeah, sure, you moved on ages ago." He nodded slowly, sarcasm dripping from his words. "It's why you went to her hospital room today and did everything you could to try to get her to wake up."

"I was just sick of getting shit from everyone over her."

Another slow nod and more derision followed that statement. "That's why you told her if she didn't wake up by the time you walked out of the door you two were over."

"Whatever." He broke free of the hold and turned, walking back toward his room.

"You two aren't over."

Thos word froze him in his tracks and he turned to look at the closest thing to a brother that he had. "What are you talking about?"

"Jackie woke up before you left man." Eric shrugged at the confused, disbelieving look on his face. "Means there's still a chance for you two crazy kids, right? Unless your little confession about still loving her and the ultimatum were really just ploys to get her to wake up? Or maybe you said them because you didn't think she would wake up and just wanted to get everything off your chest."

He didn't respond, couldn't really because he didn't know the answer. Or maybe he did but wasn't going to admit it. His jaw clenched, a muscle twitching from the pressure.

"But if it was just a ploy or some form of a goodbye then why would you be crying and bashing a wall?"

"I'm not crying."

His eyebrows rose. "Hyde, man, you are."

He frowned and swiped at his eyes, feeling moisture coat his fingers. His gaze traveled to his wet fingers and he stared at them in shock. That explained why everything he looked at was blurry. But the fact that he had broken down and that someone witnessed it, pissed him off. Because he didn't cry, wasn't supposed to. It went against everything he stood for and his manhood would definitely be challenged over this.

Time to do damage control. He slipped into his customary mask of Zen and raised his eyebrows as if he thought Forman was an idiot. "My eyes are watering cause I'm going hand to hand with cement man. It doesn't exactly tickle."

"Ok, whatever you want to believe."

"It's the truth."

"No man, here's the truth. She's alive and in a hospital, probably scared out of her mind. Not knowing what happened to her or who anyone is. But you know what, it's still better than how things would have been if she died."

Hyde tensed at that but nodded, breathing heavily and feeling like his chest was going to explode. There was so much pressure there, like someone was sitting on him. It hurt to move or breathe.

"I know that everything is hard right now and seems bleak but she could remember everything someday. Even that despite the fact you've been an asshole to her for far too long, she still loves you." Eric said firmly, forcing his attention from his hands.

All he gave was a noncommittal grunt, trying to regain his composure and mentally kicking himself for showing emotion. Especially when it was about her. But of course it just backed him up on his theory that Jackie had the power to make men do dumb things and become completely stupid.

"Even if she doesn't remember, it doesn't mean that you two are over. All it means is that you two could start over. A clean slate. No pain. No anger. No Kelso, nurses or strippers to come between you anymore."

He snorted coldly at that, "Not true. I still have my memory and I don't forget."

"Good, at least one of you still remembers that you love each other."

"Want to know what I remember?" His tone was sharp and bitter as he snarled the question he had no intention of letting Forman answer. "I remember that being with her was a disaster. That it never should've of happened. That everyone was right when they said it was creepy and unnatural."

"Well, I remember how much happier you were with her. How good you two were for each other. The fact that even though you two drove each other crazy and bickered constantly, you were always there for each other."

A groan passed his lips and he shook his head. "Revisionist history."

"I'm not the one who's done the revising." Eric countered calmly, his expression as it could be in this situation. "You did and from what everyone told me, it all started after Chicago."

"I think your outlook on things would change too if you caught Donna in a hotel room with a moron in a towel after they obviously fucked."

He stared at him, disbelief etched on his face. "They didn't. Both of them said it. Yeah, he tried but he got turned down flat. So why can't you believe it?"

"Cause its bullshit man." He roared, eyes flashing dangerously. " I was gone for a month. It gave them plenty of time to work on their cover story. Not my fault that they couldn't come up with something better than that."

"Hyde, your voice is doing that cracking thing it does when you're trying to convince yourself of something." Eric pointed out quietly. "You know that nothing happened but you don't want to believe it because it would wipe out your excuse for pushing Jackie away."

"You trying to get me pissed?"

"No," A vehement shake of his head followed that. "But the fact that you are, is really interesting."

"You want to analyze someone? Become a shrink or something. But stay the hell out of my business."

"I'm sick of seeing you be this miserable, bitter asshole who does nothing but drink and smoke his life away because he's trying to mask the fact that he's in pain over the fact that he threw away the best thing in his life."

He chuckled at that, rolling his eyes. "Oh come on man. This is really getting desperate. You're sitting here, praising Jackie like you don't think that she'd the devil and the worst thing to ever walk into your basement just because of what happened."

"When she walked in here for the first time, she was the worst thing that happened and definitely Satan in a cheerleader's uniform. But that was years ago, before she grew up and changed. Why did she change? Because of you."

"Oh I get it." Hyde's eyebrow rose and a smirk curved his lips. "You're going above and beyond in the sap department to try to get to me because you think that deep down, I'm like you. Guess what Forman? I'm nothing like you and I never will be."

"That's obvious" Eric stated flatly, their gazes locked. "Because I'll always fight for Donna rather than just let her go because it's easier."

"You have to have something worth fighting for." But his words lacked the usual conviction.

"Jackie must of thought you did. She fought for your relationship everyday. Until she just couldn't take being pushed away anymore."

"If anyone pushed anyone away, it was her with that stupid fucking ultimatum." He shot back and crossed his arms over his chest. "Everything was fine until she started demanding that we get married."

"That's what you got from it?" Eric's voice cracked, betraying his disbelief. "That she wanted to get married right away?"

"Yeah."

"Oh no, you really do deserve to wear the stupid helmet."

"Huh?"

He tsk'd him sadly and shook his head. "Jackie wasn't trying to get you to pop the question right then man. All she wanted was to know that you wanted her in your life, that you saw a future with her. That someday it was possible you two could get married."

"No, this was just another one of her manipulations to get me to do what she wanted, like always. And I also fell for it. But then Don Juan El Tardo showed up in that towel and showed me how fucking stupid I was being for even considering…" He trailed off and ran a hand over his mouth.

"Shit, it all makes sense now!" Eric looked completely blown away. "You were going to propose! That's why you've been such an asshole to her ever since you came back."

His eyes widened and he shook his head frantically. "No, I wasn't."

"Yes, you were!"

"No, I wasn't!"

"Man, it's written all over your face." He snickered and had to add a burn. "Wow, I can't believe you were actually going to do it. Did you have a ring? A speech?"

A frustrated growl tore through the room. "No I didn't because I wasn't going to fucking propose."

"So why'd you go to Chicago then?"

"I was just in the neighborhood,"

"A damnable lie!" Eric cackled, pointing his finger. "You were here a few hours earlier, saying goodbye to me. So that means that to get to Chicago when you did, you took off the second the second the Vista Cruiser turned the corner and did about eighty all the way there!"

"Forman-"

"How come you didn't just call her?"

Heaving a weighty sigh, he ran a hand through his 'fro. "I was bored, ok?"

"You don't just make a two hour drive out of boredom unless you have something really important to say or in this case, ask." Eric's amusement waned and his gaze turned studious, concerned. "That's why you took off and went to Vegas. And why you got drunk enough to marry the stripper. It's also why you refused to believe that nothing happened between Jackie and Kelso and why you wanted to hurt Jackie so much by staying with Sam."

"Whatever." Hyde was too exhausted, mentally and physically, to deal with this crap anymore tonight. He knew Forman well enough to know that since he had it all figured out, he was going to run and tell Donna, who'd probably storm over here early in the morning and shred him for it. Almost made it tempting not to wake up. "I'm done with this."

"Wait!" Eric called after his retreating form. "I never came down here to do what I was supposed to."

"And what was that reason? To annoy me? Make me want to break your jaw? Kill my buzz? Give me a headache?" He gave a cold smirk, striding over to his door. "Because if so then you definitely accomplished your mission."

"I came down to fill you in on what mom told us about Jackie."

His hand froze on the knob and he closed his eyes. Did he really want to know? Could he handle it? Or would the bad news just send him back to bashing in a concrete wall? Was it worth knowing?

"The hospital's going to keep her for a few days, to observe her behavior and run tests and stuff." Eric paused and the air in the basement became heavy and tense. "If she hasn't remembered anything after that, they have to send her to a place that deals with amnesia for a month or so."

That lump formed in his throat again and he swallowed thickly as the vision of his pretty little doll face, all alone in some crappy government owned hellhole crossed his mind. He pinched the bridge of his nose and expelled a tremulous breath, but said nothing. Just stood there waiting for the rest of the bad news to be announced because he knew from experience that once it started, it didn't stop.

"Uh, if she's still having trouble with her memory then my mother wants to be her here until she either remembers or can handle things on her own."

There was that paralyzing, crushing weight on his chest again. Because he knew his luck and it was bad, all bad. That meant that it was inevitable that Jackie wasn't going to remember and have to stay there. Mrs. Forman wouldn't let him ignore Jackie. No, she'd insist that he make an effort to help since, what did she always, they had such a special relationship. And if he was lucky enough to somehow convince Kitty that he should stay far away from her, he'd never be able to convince Red of that fact and would be forced to man up and do the right thing.

Damn it. Maybe hell really did exist and this was his punishment for doubting it. Because living in the same house as the only woman he ever loved and her not knowing who he was had to be it's own special layer of Hades. Or maybe there was such a thing as karma and this was how it decided to kick his ass. Whatever one it was, it wasn't going to be fun. No it was going to be the worst, most painful kind of torture there was.


End file.
